Now that sugaring is more mainstream, real community members are ready to spill the tea with their best sugar daddy stories. Take a look at some of these surprising, uplifting, and eye-opening sugar daddy testimonials and Q&As to get a better sense of whether this lifestyle is for you.
New York, NY
I met my first sugar daddy when I was a grad student at NYU. I knew that I would have to take out some loans to pay for tuition, but I really didn’t want to graduate with an overwhelming amount of debt. So, I applied for every job I could think of and was lucky enough to find a catering gig. One of my coworkers was actually the one to introduce me to sugar dating. She met her sugar daddy at an event she was working at, which was technically against company rules. But, once she told me how much more she was making from her weekly dates with her sugar daddy, I couldn’t blame her.
I didn’t want to risk my job, so I started looking for a relationship online. Once I was even invited to one of the parties that my catering company was hired for! It was pretty surreal to be a guest instead of a server, and my coworkers and I had a lot to talk about afterward.
What would you say to new sugar babies?
I think it can be easy to get caught up in the sugaring lifestyle. And if that’s what you want to do full-time, by all means, go for it! But for me, it was a bit of a learning curve to figure out how to juggle grad school, my job, and my sugar daddies. I ended up setting a limit for myself to only have one partner at a time so that I could dedicate enough energy to all of my responsibilities. Otherwise, it would be too overwhelming.
When I transitioned from working in the office to being a stay-at-home mom, I really struggled with not making my own income. Even though my partner reminded me time and time again that mothering is work and that we didn’t need a second income, I just couldn’t scratch the itch that I needed to be doing something on the side.
Well, I have a background in voice acting, so I started looking for odd jobs that could use that skill. Anyone who’s worked in the entertainment industry knows that it’s pretty hard to just snap your fingers and get a job. So, I tried adult phone calls, but that was too uncomfortable for me, so I looked into online sugar dating instead. The experience, in general, has been a lot more fulfilling and respectful. I spend a couple of hours chatting with different sugar daddies in the afternoon and I schedule phone calls after the baby is down for the night. It’s honestly a nice change of pace and my sugar daddies are pretty interesting.
Of course, there are always going to be people who get off on pushing boundaries, so you’ve gotta be tough. And, my partner took a bit of convincing to come around to the arrangement. But, all in all, I’m so glad I went this route. I was going nuts.
What would your advice be to other parents who are interested in sugaring?
There’s definitely a stigma around being a parent and a sugar baby, so be mindful of who you talk to. I have no shame about my sugar daddy relationships. But I also don’t want my mommy group to be excluding me from events just because they have the wrong idea about sugar babies. So, I have my trusted community of people who are non-judgemental, and with everyone else, I just say I’m a virtual assistant. People don’t tend to ask any follow-up questions.
I just graduated from culinary school six months ago and my dream is to have my own restaurant someday. I was on dating apps for a while but I spend so much of my time in the kitchen, that I can’t really have a normal relationship. All I think about is what my next move is to reach my goal. And, my exes eventually all got tired of the lifestyle.
I’m still pretty new to the whole sugar dating thing. But, I’m hoping to meet someone who is successful in the food industry and can either point me in the right direction or (fingers crossed) help fund my career. Everyone I work with teases me when I try to make eyes with anyone who comes in looking rich. But I don’t care. I’ll do anything I need to to make my dreams happen. So far, I’ve had a few dates with sugar daddies in similar fields. And they’ve given me some smart business advice. But I’ve still got my sights set on that one person who can catapult my career.
What’s something that surprised you about sugaring?
I really had no idea that there were so many different kinds of sugar relationships. When I first got started, I was confused by all the lingo: NSA, Splenda daddies, unicorns. But, once I got the hang of the vocabulary, I realized it’s pretty cool that there’s so much freedom in sugar dating. It helped me hone in on the kind of sugar daddy I was looking for, and that’s super important for someone as busy as I am.
The last couple of years, I saw a bunch of people I graduated high school with talking about being a digital nomad. I was super jealous because I always wanted to travel but never had the money for it. Finally, after I lost my job in the pandemic, I thought, “Okay, it’s now or never” and I started looking for remote jobs that I could do anywhere. The thing was that remote work in my field doesn’t pay great. And I wasn’t excited about the idea of living in hostels and taking buses everywhere. So, I became a sugar baby.
I’m not going to lie, sometimes it’s brutal. Like, if you have a full day of travel or activities and you schedule a date in the evening, your sugar daddy is not going to care if you’re tired or jetlagged. They’re going to expect that you put on makeup, do your hair, show up on time (so you better not get lost or mix up your time zones!), and be ready to entertain them.
What I like about sugar dating these days is that you can do it online and in person. Like, if I want a lavish dinner in Dubai, I can find a sugar daddy who already lives there. Or, if I’m in a small village in the middle of nowhere, Costa Rica, I can have an online date with a sugar daddy as long as I have internet.
What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened on a date?
Once, I showed up to a date and my sugar daddy didn’t speak a word of English! Turns out that he had been using Google Translate every time we talked online. I wish that I had arranged a video call before we met so that I didn’t walk into the situation completely blindsided. But at the same time, I’m also glad because maybe I would have turned him down and it ended up being a pretty good date! It was a bit awkward, but we used our phones and even drew pictures on a notebook that I had in my purse! After that, I never felt nervous for another date.
In all honesty, my first sugar daddy experience was awful. I ended up falling for an Instagram scam and losing a few hundred dollars which I had been saving up to move into my own flat.
I started reading online forums to see if this had happened to anyone else, and I ended up being inspired to try again, this time on an actual sugar daddy website. Well, my first date was also a bust. Luckily, because I had been reading up online about what to watch out for, I knew that this POT was actually a salt daddy.
But, the third time is really the charm because the next person I met was absolutely wonderful. I’ll admit, I was super untrusting at the beginning. I demanded that we have phone calls first and that he pay for my transportation in advance. I picked the restaurant. Looking back, I was kind of bossy. But my sugar daddy seemed to like that because he immediately started giving me gifts and asking to see me again. We’ve been in an exclusive sugar relationship for about two years and I see him about twice or three times per month. Needless to say, I made back the money I had lost in the scam and way more. I now live in a much better flat than I thought I could afford at the start of this journey.
What are your goals for sugaring?
When I first started sugaring, I didn’t really have goals. It felt like the opportunity just came my way and I went after it. Of course, that was a mistake, because I got scammed. After that, I learned how important it is to actually have goals for being a sugar baby. Having goals is what makes you proactive and independent instead of reactive and vulnerable to scams. I thought to myself, “Okay, I want to move into my own flat. What else? I want to upgrade my wardrobe. I want a personal trainer. I want to hire a trainer for my dog.” These were all tangible things that I could ask for instead of just thinking, like, “I want a sugar daddy who will spoil me.” Sure, that’s what we all want. But that means something different for everyone, so you have to get specific about what benefits you’re going to ask for.
My first sugar daddy found me and for about six months, I didn’t even know I was in a relationship! It all started when one of the customers at the gym I was working in asked if I would like to get coffee at the end of my shift. He was much older than me, and at first, I definitely felt weird about it. But he was so sweet and interesting (and good-looking!) that I quickly felt comfortable dating him.
During the entire first part of our relationship, he gave me gifts, paid for all my meals, and even took me on a weekend getaway to the mountains. But, the more time that we spent together, I wasn’t sure how to ask him what we were to each other. I enjoyed spending time with him, but I was also dating other people and wanted to eventually start a family with someone my own age. Finally, I just came right out and asked what his expectations were and he said, “I thought you knew. I’m kind of a sugar daddy!” We both burst out laughing.
I’ve had sugar daddies since then, but now, I make sure to talk about the terms of the relationship as early as possible.
What is a deal breaker for you in a sugar daddy?
I get really annoyed with sugar daddies who think that their time is more valuable than mine. Like, okay. If they’re a CEO of a huge company, yeah, they’re going to be busy. But, that doesn’t mean that I’m going to be available at any given time to come over and have dinner with them. I have my own life! I know that for some sugar babies, that’s fine. But, it’s a deal breaker for me. Actually, that’s why I tend to gravitate toward sugar daddies who aren’t millionaires. I’m happy with someone who makes enough money to treat me to a nice dinner, give me a thoughtful gift every once in a while, and help me out if there’s something specific I’m saving up for. Not every sugar baby is looking for an extravagant, luxurious lifestyle.
San Francisco, CA
I grew up in San Francisco, so I never felt like there was any taboo about things like sugaring or other kinds of dating set-ups like polyamory. In fact, when my twenty-two-year-old older sister told our parents that she was thinking about becoming a sugar baby, they just told her to be careful and call them if anything ever felt uncomfortable.
I was lucky enough to learn all the insider tips from her, because she would call me any time she had new sugar daddy stories to share. So by the time I had my own first date a couple of years later, I had heard the good, the bad, and everything in between. I also kind of knew what kinds of relationships were common in the sugaring world, so I could say, “Hey I’m looking for something casual and NSA.” I mean, my first sugar daddy probably thought I was way more experienced than I was! And I was less nervous than I had ever been on a vanilla first date.
I think if I could give advice to any new sugar babies, it’s that location isn’t everything, but it does help. Being in the Bay Area means that you’re always a short drive away from some of the richest sugar daddies in the country. I’ve been on dates with people who come from old rich families that have been in SF for generations. And, I’ve dated sugar daddies from Silicon Valley.
What advice do you have for sugar babies who maybe don’t have the kind of family support that you had?
I admit, it was a huge help to be able to be open with my family about my sugar daddies and also ask my sister for advice. But at the same time, I’ve learned a lot from other people in the Bowl. If you don’t have anyone in your life who you feel you can talk to about this kind of stuff, look online! There are sugar baby forums that offer advice or just a place to vent and laugh about the crazy things that happen on dates. There are so many sugar babies out there. If you spend a little bit of time looking, you’ll find your people!
I’m a bikini model, so I’m used to being ogled by guys (and girls!) whenever I’m at a shoot or even just walking around in my sweats. But it kind of surprises people when I tell them that I’ve had a miserable dating life. People think that if you’re in shape and pretty, everything is easy for you. Well, let me tell you, it is not! Miami is full of pretty people who are all trying to catch the attention of the billionaire on the yacht. And there are so many men here who just want a pretty girl on their arm to show off to their billionaire buddies. As soon as I would catch feelings for someone, he already had his eyes on someone else.
I can’t remember exactly how the idea came into my head, but at some point, I figured, “If this is how dating is in this city, I might as well get something out of it for myself!” I knew that sugaring websites were super popular in Miami, so I made a profile and waited. For like ten minutes! By the end of the first day, I already had two dates lined up for the following week.
People ask me all the time what it’s really like being a sugar baby. And hey, it’s dating. Was every date successful? Heck no. Was every guy or woman I dated respectful and polite? Nope. But the difference was, the bad interactions didn’t feel so miserable as they did when I was looking only for love. Now, I could say to myself, “Okay, that didn’t go how I planned. Time to get back to the grind and find someone who actually checks all my boxes.” My boxes being: deep pockets, a gentlemanly demeanor, style, and most importantly, generosity.
How do you deal with sugar daddies that aren’t up to par?
I think my background in modeling has prepared me to know what to do when people are trying to take advantage of me. But, it was definitely a skill that I had to learn. I never wanted to have conflict, so it was uncomfortable to stick up for myself at first.
Now, at the first sign of a sugar daddy acting suspicious, I have no qualms about cutting them off. It’s really easy when you get used to it! I think the trick is knowing exactly what kind of behavior you won’t tolerate. For me, it’s a sugar daddy who makes a ridiculously low offer and makes me feel like my demands are too high. Um, excuse me. There are a lot of other people out there who are happy to give me what I want. So, if you’re not, we’re not going to work out. It’s as simple as that.
I studied abroad in London for college and absolutely fell in love with the city. And, I ended up falling in love with a girl here, too! Well, long story short, I moved here after graduating to be with her. We got married. It didn’t work out. But I didn’t want to go back to Canada with my tail between my legs. So, I stayed. The thing is, I didn’t want to move into a flat with a bunch of other guys. And I was just a legal aid, so I wasn’t making enough money to live on my own.
Jokingly, one of my friends told me I’d need a cougar if I was going to have the kind of lifestyle I wanted on my salary. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before.
Getting started, my expectations were pretty low. I figured sugar dating sites were only for young women and older men. But this is London! And I was surprised that there actually were older women on these sites looking for guys like me. I don’t get as much attention as some of the sugar daddy testimonials I’ve read from women, of course. But, when I put the time in to be active on the site, I can schedule at least up to two dates per week.
What do you think sugar mommas are looking for in a sugar baby?
There are a lot of resources out there for sugar babies with sugar daddies, but dating an older woman is a whole different game! The women I date tend to be high-powered or come from influential families, so they’re accustomed to taking the lead. That can mean that they either want to continue taking on that role in the relationship, or the opposite. Sometimes, they want to completely relinquish control and be pampered. It’s all about getting to know your partner as a person and not being afraid to ask what appeals to them.
And yeah, female sugar babies are expected to dress up, put makeup on, and act a certain way. It’s the same when you’re dating a sugar momma! My partners expect me to stay fit, stay up to date on my personal grooming, and put thought into my outfits. I even took a course in massage and aromatherapy so that I could offer extra benefits for my sugar mommas. Basically, you put into it what you get out. Just like you might take extra classes to get a better job, you can get an edge over other sugar babies by improving yourself.
How to have your own sugar baby success stories
Now that you’ve heard from sugar babies from all different backgrounds and locations, it’s time for you to start writing your own sugar daddy stories! Here are a few tips on how to get started with this exciting lifestyle:
- Get online. No matter if you plan on having in-person relationships or virtual ones, creating an online profile is a fast, easy way to start meeting sugar daddies.
- Treat sugar dating like a job. If there’s one thing that all of the real sugar daddy experiences we’ve covered have in common is that sugaring takes effort. If you expect a sugar daddy to take care of you, you’ll need to return the favor with your time, presence, and thoughtfulness.
- Learn from every experience. Even dates that don’t live up to your expectations can be valuable learning experiences. After every date, consider what went well and what you would change for next time.
- Have fun! Sugaring is supposed to be about enriching your life. So, don’t forget to enjoy it! If you can let loose and have fun, you’ll be sharing your own successful sugar daddy stories with newbies in no time!