Sugar Dating Etiquette: Dos and Don'ts

Rita

Last Updated: April 30, 2024

Sugar Dating 101

Wondering how to tap into the unspoken sugar daddy rules that will bring you more success in your mutual arrangements? We have the secrets you’ve been waiting for!

Take a look at these do’s and don’ts for ideas on how to keep your sugar partner—and yourself!—satisfied.

Don’t: Shy away from sugar dating websites

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The biggest mistake that sugaring newbies make is hesitating about sugar dating websites. They may try to find a sugar partner in the real world or look for sugar partners on traditional dating apps or social media. If you really want to start making connections, don’t be afraid of online sugaring communities. That’s where you’ll find like-minded people looking for exactly the same thing you want. And, you’ll learn invaluable information about proper etiquette from online sugar dating forums.

Do: Spend time on your sugar daddy profile

Your online profile is your first impression, so make it count! This is where you can start setting expectations about what you’re looking for and what you can offer. Luckily, we have a whole range of articles, for both sugar daddies and sugar babies, to help you get started.

Don’t: Treat everyone like a scammer

Unfortunately, scammers exist in the dating world. And, you might even find yourself losing patience after sifting through false profiles and potential partners who aren’t honest about what they are willing to offer.

But, we would recommend that you don’t build your wall too high! After all, the only way to find your perfect partner is to open yourself up to new opportunities. And, if you treat everyone you meet on sugar daddy sites like the enemy, well, you’re probably going to miss out on some interesting connections.

It’s like the saying goes, “Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.” Give new connections the benefit of the doubt while also familiarizing yourself with sugar dating red flags, and you’ll quickly weed out the scammers.

Do: Protect yourself by setting reasonable boundaries

One way to protect yourself from scams and bad potential partners is to be mindful of your boundaries. Unfortunately, scammers and manipulators love to target people who are unsure of themselves and overly eager to please. So, your best defense is a strong sense of self-worth.

You can practice this by thinking about what your boundaries are. Here are a few ideas that may resonate with you:

  • A potential partner must be willing to have a video call before meeting in person
  • A potential partner shouldn’t use manipulation tactics like backhanded compliments, love bombing, or pressure campaigns
  • A potential partner should never ask about sensitive information like bank account info or your exact physical address
  • A potential partner must be willing to meet in a public place at a reasonable hour

As you can see, these are sensible boundaries that can keep you safe from scammers or potentially dangerous situations. Trust your own intuition and set sugar daddy rules that make sense to you.

Don’t: Bring up the benefits too early

You might be excited about the potential of someone you’ve met in the sugaring world. But we would caution you against bringing up the conversation of benefits too early. After all, there’s an important, unspoken courtship phase that takes place in successful sugar relationships. This allows you to connect on a person-to-person level before diving into the negotiation process.

Do: Make sure that you talk logistics before the end of the first meet & greet

While you want to give space to finding the spark between the two of you, you also don’t want to let too much time pass before talking about benefits. That’s why one of the most common sugar daddy rules is that you shouldn’t let the first meet & greet come to a close before discussing some of your desires for a sugar daddy arrangement.

Here are a few ways that you can broach the subject with tact:

  • “I’m so glad that we got a chance to get to know each other a little better. Are you ready to talk about how we can keep this going?”
  • “This has been so fun and I’m really looking forward to seeing you again. Is there anything you want to share about what you’re looking for in this kind of setup?”
  • “One thing I love about this community is how open and honest we can be from the beginning. I’d love to know what your ideas are about your perfect arrangement.”

Starting the conversation in this way ensures that you’re making space to negotiate without the date becoming a business meeting.

Don’t: Take the negotiation process personally

If you’re new to the sugaring world, talking about benefits in an arrangement can feel uncomfortable. This will be especially true if you’re talking with someone who is very comfortable with negotiating.

Remember that your potential partner probably isn’t being rude. Instead, they’re being 100% honest about what they’re looking for so that there’s no confusion later on.

Do: Say yes intentionally

Something that inexperienced people do in a sugar partnership is say yes to things because they don’t want to miss out on this arrangement or upset their partner. But this is one of the worst things you can do in terms of sugaring etiquette. When you say yes without being fully committed, it can lead to confusion and disappointment later on. One of the most important sugar daddy rules is honesty. So, don’t be afraid to say no.

Now, we should note that sometimes a toxic sugar partner will try to pressure you into saying yes. During the negotiation process, they may try to lowball you, demanding benefits that far outweigh what they’re offering. Or, they may try to put you down or rush you into agreeing to their terms. These are manipulation tactics meant to fluster you. If you feel like you’re being steamrolled, it’s perfectly fine to say that you’re not ready to commit to anything until you’ve had some time to think about it. A good partner will respect your wishes. A bad one will probably cut you loose and find someone else. Either way, you can feel good about not saying yes to something you weren’t sure of.

Don’t: Set traditional expectations for your sugar partner

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The only sugar daddy rules that exist within a sugar relationship are the ones that both parties explicitly agree to. That means that if anything is left out, such as monogamy, texting between dates, emotional availability, or gift giving, it’s not a part of the agreement.

This is why it’s so important not to set any expectations for your partner outside of the benefits you both agreed to. This can be difficult if you’re accustomed to traditional relationships. But remember, many people are drawn to sugaring as a way to liberate themselves from the pressures of traditional dating. So, do your best to let go of the habit of thinking of your sugar partner as a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Do: Clarify any confusion you may have about your sugar relationship

It’s always a good idea to ask questions about how your sugar relationship will work. Is your partner looking for a casual friends-with-benefits situation? Do they see themselves eventually marrying one of their sugar partners? Are they interested in dating multiple sugar partners at once?

Knowing the answers to these questions can help you be a better partner. For instance, if you know that your sugar daddy is looking for an emotionally supportive partner, you can arrive at your dates with an empathic mindset. If, in contrast, your partner has made it clear that they want something no-strings-attached, you can help them focus on enjoying the present moment.

When clarifying your sugar relationship, make sure to stay neutral and curious. You want to encourage open conversation without judgment.

Don’t: Bring your own baggage into the relationship

It can be tempting to view your dates with a sugar partner as a place to vent and blow off steam. But the truth is, not every sugar partner will want to continue seeing you if you only focus on the negative. And ultimately, while your sugar partner can be a source of support, they’re not your therapist.

If you find yourself constantly talking about your own personal problems during a sugar date, make an effort to break the habit. You can try focusing more on the present moment and making sure that your partner is well-cared for.

Do: Keep conversations light and engaging

When you view sugaring as a fun escape from the daily grind, it can change the dynamic of your dates. And one easy way to do this is to keep the conversation positive and interesting. That’s not to say that you have to stick with small talk, but rather that you choose light topics. You might ask, for instance, about your partner’s travel plans, their former education, what they would do for a living if money were no option, their first car, etc.

Don’t: Ignore your sugar partner unless you want something

One of the unspoken sugar daddy rules that you’ll want to learn early is that these relationships require maintenance. It can leave a bad taste in your partner’s mouth if you only ever contact them when you’re looking for a luxurious evening out or a new designer bag.

You can avoid this mistake by making sure there’s a balance between what you’re receiving and what you’re offering. Maybe you don’t necessarily want to go with them to that work event but you know it’s a way for you to show that you are invested in their needs. In turn, they’ll be more willing to shower you with gifts.

Do: Set clear expectations of how to communicate between dates

While you don’t want to ignore your sugar partner completely between dates, you don’t need to feel obligated to keep the conversation going 24/7. Constant conversation can leave you feeling drained and less enthusiastic about seeing them in person. So, if you’re not the kind of person that likes to talk all the time or you have a job that keeps you busy, you’ll want to bring this up with your partner. You might, for example, set up a phone call every few days or make it clear that you can only text outside of working hours.

Don’t: Ghost!

Sadly, ghosting has become a regular occurrence in the world of dating, both traditional and sugar. But, ultimately, it damages the community by leaving people feeling jaded and untrusting of new partners.

That being said, there are some circumstances in which you’ll want to stop contacting a partner. If, for instance, they make you feel unsafe or you get the feeling that they’re trying to scam you, it’s best to go no-contact. Make sure to reach out to the sugar daddy website where you met them so that they can conduct an investigation.

Do: Be mindful about ending relationships if it’s time to move on

Some sugar relationships end. It doesn’t have to be such a bad thing! If you feel that it’s time to end your sugar daddy relationship, do so in a way that is healthy and mature. You should, for instance, thank your sugar daddy or sugar baby for their time and care, and acknowledge the good experiences you enjoyed together. And, if you have made promises that you’ll no longer be able to keep, make sure that you do your best to accommodate them. For instance, if you had arranged for your sugar baby to get a spa treatment, the good-natured option is to pay for it in advance so that they can still enjoy your gift. In this way, you won’t end on bad terms.

Sugar daddy rules are meant to give you a great experience!

You might have noticed that most of the sugar daddy rules that we’ve covered here are in place to make the community a more welcoming and safe place for everyone. Not only will these habits make you a better partner, but they’ll make you feel more in control and at ease in the world of sugaring.

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