The Most Popular Discord Dating Servers


Last Updated: June 25, 2024

Dating Tips

Overview of Popular Discord Dating Servers

Looking for an online alternative to swipe-based dating apps? You might prefer meeting your special someone on a platform like Discord! This chat-based online forum is great for anyone who wants more diverse dating options. And many users say that they find it easier to connect with other users on Discord than chatting with people on dating apps.

In this article, we’ll share some of the most popular Discord servers that are offering singles a new way to think about online dating.

Sinful 18+

This discord server is a casual, welcoming, and very large (we’re talking over 480,000 members) community of adults who want to chat with other singles in a laid-back setting. There are voice and text channels that are always buzzing with people looking to make new connections.

Some of the things that people love about this discord server are the custom bots and the fact that everyone is a verified adult. Plus, there are plenty of protocols in place to keep people safe. The staff running the server are often described as fair, active, and committed to keeping such a busy server running smoothly.

In terms of the kinds of interactions that you can find on Sinful 18+, there’s a little something for everyone. If you’re looking for more Safe For Work (SFW) vibes, you’ll find plenty of people hopping on for a casual, friendly chat. Whether you’re looking for new friendships, potential romantic interests, or new online connections for gaming, there are usually thousands of members online at any given time.

There are also verified Not Safe For Work (NSFW) channels if you’re looking for something more intimate. Here, you can explore adult VC, role-playing chats, BDSM communities, E-girl chats, and more.

Disturbed 18+

Don’t let the name put you off, there’s nothing disturbed about this self-proclaimed wholesome, caring community! Disturbed 18+ was created in order to invite folks who are interested in all different kinks, and it’s also a space for gaming, including Minecraft, Valheim, Palworld, and more. They also feature voice chats with monthly giveaways, regular events, and VIP tiers. This Discord server is currently made up of over 10,000 members.

As a kink-positive and seller-friendly community, one thing that Disturbed 18+ takes very seriously is safety. That’s why every member is verified and the community is closely monitored by safety bots and moderators. If you have any issues, the staff managing the server is very active and engaged, so you’ll never feel unsupported.

As a smaller community than Sinful 18+, you may find it even easier to make meaningful connections with fellow members. And, because this server caters to different kinks, you’ll feel welcome to explore new perspectives and share your own with folks who are understanding and open. You may even find yourself contributing to the landscape of this server the more that you participate and become a part of the community!

Lux Dating 18+

Lux Dating 18+ is a true matchmaking Discord server dedicated to helping adult singles find their special someone. They offer a variety of features that are designed to get you chatting with your perfect match, whether you’re looking for something serious or casual. You’re also likely to make plenty of friends on this server as the community is very active and welcoming!

One thing that makes Lux Dating 18+ special is that most of their activities are meant to facilitate online connections. You’ll regularly see scheduled events such as themed parties, speed dating activities, and more.

Everyone on the server has been verified to be over 18, and they take their inclusion policy very seriously. Lux Dating 18+ is welcome to people of all backgrounds, genders, and sexual orientations. And, they’ve made it a point to be a safe environment for e-girls!

Although this Discord server is one of the smaller ones on our list, with over 6,700 members at the time of this publication, it’s also one of the best-rated by users. In fact, based on user reviews, members point out that this community is extremely active, fun, and inviting. And they appreciate the care and professionalism shown by the staff.

Features and Community Dynamics


When thinking about which dating-focused Discord server is right for you, one of the first things you’ll want to look into is the features that make that community special. Here are a few things that can set a server apart:

  • Custom bots. Discord bots are essential in keeping a server running smoothly. Some bots will oversee general maintenance, such as age verification and enforcing safety policies.
  • Voice and video chats. The bread and butter of a good dating Discord server is how easy it is to communicate with your romantic interests. So, you’ll want to look into what kinds of chat options are available.
  • Community events. Many dating servers host regular events, such as speed dating sessions, games, or themed parties that get people more comfortable with getting to know one another.
  • Moderation by staff. Finally, you’ll want to be sure that any dating Discover server you choose is dedicated to moderation so that your conversations are friendly, mature, and respectful.

Custom Bots

Discord bots are common because they make the user experience better. Some custom bots, for instance, are designed to help new members become comfortable on the server. Others are responsible for maintaining and enforcing safety policies by moderating conversations and flagging inappropriate behavior.

Some Discord servers even use bots in order to help people meet compatible members on the site! These matchmaker bots are a great way to make your time on a server more efficient by putting you in touch with like-minded members who may be interested in the same kind of relationship, kink exploration, or other preferences.

Friendly Communities

One of the reasons that Discord servers are becoming a popular alternative to swipe-based dating apps is that members feel that they’re part of a community here. There are a few reasons why:

  • Both friendships and romantic relationships are encouraged. Many users have shared that they found both new friends and new romantic interests on their Discord server. The focus on friendly conversation is how these communities become so tightly-knit!
  • Members are able to connect over shared interests. There are many different servers on Discord that cater to a range of preferences and interests. This means that you’ll have no trouble finding the community that feels comfortable for you.
  • Some Discord servers organize fun events. From gaming sessions to speed dating to watch parties, there’s always something fun happening on Discord to help you connect with other members.

Safety and Moderation

When it comes to dating Discord servers, safety, and a harassment-free user experience are crucial to a server’s ability to create a positive community. For this reason, each server should have a list of clear community rules that keep everyone safe from inappropriate behavior. Of course, there also needs to be a way to enforce the community guidelines, which is why the role of moderators is so essential in making sure that users feel comfortable on the server. Here’s how they do it:

  • Sending warnings to users who aren’t following the community guidelines
  • Deleting messages that are harmful to the community
  • Suspending or banning users who have consistently violated the community guidelines
  • Responding to user questions and concerns
  • Banning spam bots

Moderators also have the ability to bring in other moderators to help them manage growing servers so that they don’t become overwhelmed by higher traffic.

Age-Restricted Gates

You’ll notice that the dating servers on Discord all clearly state that they are 18+ spaces. But, it’s not enough to simply say that everyone in the community is over 18. Here are a few ways that moderators verify the age of new members:

  • Requiring proof of age. This may be done by sending a picture of your driver’s license, college ID, state ID, or passport to a server staff
  • Asking questions. Sometimes, moderators will ask follow-up questions to get a better sense of your actual age.

As of right now, there is no universal age verification process for all of Discord. Each server may have its own policy on how to verify the age of new members.

Moderation Practices

As we mentioned, active and knowledgeable moderators are crucial to the health and wellness of any Discord server. But there are a few things that may surprise you about this important role:

  • Moderators are carefully selected and trained. Server staff are thoughtful about who they want on their safety team, and once they’ve selected someone, they think would be a good moderator, there’s an onboarding and training process to get them ready. This often includes having the moderator read through and show understanding of the community guidelines, teaching them their specific responsibilities and tools to enforce those guidelines, and getting them familiar with other staff members and general admin protocol.
  • The best moderators are the ones that are invested in the server they’re moderating. Even though Discord server moderators typically get paid for their work, the best ones do it for the love of the server. They have a genuine interest in keeping their favorite community safe!

Real-Life Scenarios and Concerns


Maybe you’re thinking about trying out a dating Discord server for yourself but you’re still not sure whether it’s for you. To be sure, it’s not a bad idea to familiarize yourself with some potential scenarios and concerns before diving in fully. Here are a few pros and potential cons of dating on Discord:

  • Con: You may not live in the same area. Most Discord servers accept people from all over the world! So, you might connect with someone who doesn’t live nearby.
  • Pro: You’ll be exposed to a much wider community than in your current town or city.
  • Con: The virtual aspect can take some getting used to. While there are voice chats and video features, you still may feel a bit uncomfortable with getting to know someone through a screen instead of in person.
  • Pro: Users report feeling more comfortable opening up and becoming vulnerable on Discord than on other dating platforms. Once you’ve gotten comfortable with the virtual aspect, you’ll find that users tend to be more open and communicative than on many other online dating platforms. In fact, this has been found to be true by a 2023 study from the University of Cambridge!
  • Con: There is a safety risk with online dating. Moderators do their best to keep conversations safe and appropriate, but unfortunately, people sometimes act strangely on the internet. You may have a negative experience if you cross paths with the wrong user.
  • Pro: There are many examples of positive experiences. Even though there’s a risk of meeting the wrong person on a dating Discord server, there’s also the potential to meet many amazing people, too!

Positive Experiences

From Discord server reviews to Reddit stories to chatting with your friends who use the platform, you’re bound to come across many success stories from people looking for love on dating servers!

Often, these success stories sound like that of Reddit user kittenprince913, who met their girlfriend on Discord and then moved across the country to move in together. You’ll also find heart-warming reviews, such as one left on Sinful 18+ stating, “What I found there [on the Discord server] was long-lasting friendship, a love interest (or two lol) and a place I felt comfortable and safe to socialize and be myself.”

Risks and Precautions

As with anywhere else on the internet, it’s important to take necessary precautions to keep yourself safe when chatting with people online. Here are a few ways that you can lower your risk of scams and harassment:

  • Stick with Discord servers that have community guidelines and active moderators
  • Only join Discord servers that align with your interests and values
  • Don’t give out your personal information to other users on the server
  • Never engage in any kind of money exchange, unless the server has an established selling process
  • Report suspicious behavior
  • If you make plans to meet another user in person, make sure that it is in a public place

Demographics and Usage Statistics

Discord may have started primarily as a gaming platform, but it’s become widely popular for its social value for people of different ages, backgrounds, and interests! Take a look at some of the most interesting statistics around Discord demographics:

  • The average age of users on dating Discord servers is around 24 years old
  • Dating Discord servers are split almost evenly between male and female users
  • The number of dating Discord servers has grown by over 50% in just the past year
  • Dating Discord servers are so popular that many niche communities, including kink, e-girl, polyamory, and others, have popped up to meet the demand
  • The average Discord server has around 10,000 members, but many are much larger

In other words, if you balked at the idea of dating in Discord because you imagined it to be a very small, gaming-focused community, the statistics show otherwise!

Age and Gender Distribution

You may have had an idea in your head about Discord being a place for gaming guys and maybe a few e-girls. But the truth is, most dating-focused servers are split 50/50 between men and women! That’s actually a much more even distribution than most swipe-based dating apps like Tinder or Hinge, which often have many more male users than female.

You may also be surprised by the average age of Discord users! With an average age of 24 years old, it’s clear that these servers are no longer a place for teens. In fact, most dating Discord servers require a minimum age of 18, and have a user base that is much older on average.

Growth of Dating Servers

We’ve highlighted three popular dating Discord servers in this article, but the truth is, there are many popping up all the time. In fact, traffic on Discord for dating servers has doubled over the past year, with some of the biggest servers boasting memberships of hundreds of thousands of users! Among these, there are communities catering to different styles of dating, NSFW content, friendship-building, and more.

As of 2023, Discord had an average user base of over 200 million monthly users and that number has only grown over the last year. As Discord attempts to bring in people outside of the gaming community, it’s likely that the number of dating servers and other social servers will continue to grow over time.

Myths and Misconceptions

One challenge that Discord as a platform has had to contend with is its public image as being a place only for gamers and teens. While this may have been why the site was originally created, Discord has since become a multi-faceted community hub, inviting people looking for friendship, fandom, work, religion, politics, dating, and more.

Luckily, it seems that the growing Discord user base is doing a good job of dispelling many of the myths around who this platform is for. The more that people learn about Discord from friends, colleagues, and other social media platforms, the more diverse the platform becomes. Nowadays, there are people of all ages, opinions, and personalities making new servers that can help them achieve what they want to get out of their time online.

Beyond Gaming

The OG Discord users tended to be young gamers looking for a social media platform where they could nerd out about their favorite games and meet other players. And to be sure, there are still plenty of servers dedicated to that vibrant community!

But, what has Discord offered to the general population is something equally as appealing! With the ability to chat, call, join virtual hang-outs, and sign up for challenges and group activities, non-gamers have taken notice! Now, the site is a great place to connect over art, dating, education, film, crafts, and more.

Safety Improvements

Any community, whether online or offline, needs to revisit its safety procedures as its membership grows. And Discord has gotten serious about maintaining safety on their site even when new servers are being added all the time.

Recently, they’ve rolled out something called the Safety Reporting Network, which allows them to partner with safety organizations all over the world to flag concerning content that could have real-world consequences. Discord also offers safety tools such as Teen Safety Assist for minors.

If you want to learn more about Discord safety practices, they have an entire safety library on their site to help you learn about the tools and practices they use to keep everyone safe.

Will you try dating on Discord?

In this article, we’ve covered everything there is to know about dating-focused Discord servers. The only thing left to do is experience it for yourself!

So, will you try finding your perfect match on the server of your choice?

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