Top 10 Turn-offs for Women When Dating


Last Updated: October 20, 2023

Dating Tips

Knowing the top 10 turn-offs for women is a great way to avoid pitfalls and keep her interested. And while some of them are pretty straightforward, a few of the turn-offs on this list might surprise you!

If you’re looking to elevate your dating game, make sure to ask yourself whether you’ve been guilty of making these common dating mistakes.

Bragging about yourself

Bragging-about-yourself.jpg This is a habit that so many people fall into when they’re trying to come off as confident. After all, you want to share your accomplishments and the parts of your life that you’re proud of.

But, going on and on about your recent promotion, your new hobby, or how much you can bench press is tiring.

This doesn't mean that you should never share about yourself. But, for every humble brag, give her the chance to do some bragging about herself.

For instance, you might say something like, “I’ve been working with a personal trainer lately, it’s been really good for my fitness goals. But, I see from your profile pictures that you like to hike. What’s been your favorite or most challenging hike so far?”


Negging is a conscious or unconscious habit of watering down your compliments with negativity. And it definitely deserves to be part of the top 10 turn-offs for women.

Negging can look something like saying, “That’s amazing that you studied science in college. None of the women I met in college were interested in the really difficult subjects.” You can see how negging often starts off on a positive note, but can quickly lose that edge with an undermining second half.

Instead, practice offering genuine compliments without any backhandedness.

Playing hard-to-get

It’s unclear where the advice to play hard-to-get comes from, but it’s a quick way to lose a woman’s attention. Nowadays, women are interested in a partner who is straightforward, authentic, and unafraid to show their cards.

So, if you find yourself not responding to her messages as a way to gain the upper hand, see if you can put the dating games to rest. In turn, she’ll see you as a more emotionally mature person.

Playing devil’s advocate

When you’re on a date with a woman, the two of you will inevitably disagree about something. But how you respond is what will tell her whether she wants to keep dating you.

Playing devil’s advocate is almost always the wrong way to go about these kinds of conversations! In fact, women often see this as a sign that the person she’s talking to wants to win instead of understanding her point of view.

It’s time to ditch the devil’s advocate play for a more harmonious approach. Try, instead, asking open-ended questions that will invite her to continue sharing. For example, you can say, “It sounds like you have first-hand experience with this. Would you feel comfortable sharing more?”

And when you do disagree, always use I statements, such as, “My experience hasn’t always been that way, but I can understand your perspective.”

Looking disheveled

Whether or not you think it’s fair, women are put under a lot of pressure to show up to a date looking their best. And, they appreciate it when the person sitting across the table has also put in the time to look nice.

Showing up late

Showing-up-late.jpg This may seem like a small detail, but showing up late is definitely one of the more common top 10 turn-offs for women. Tardiness gives her the impression that you don’t value her time or that she’s not a priority for you.

So, always make the effort to show up early, even if that means that you end up having to wait around for her.

Not taking responsibility

A woman likes to see a man who has the emotional maturity to admit when he’s messed up. Whether you said something that warrants an apology, cut someone off in traffic, or are explaining something that happened at work, make sure that you’re humble enough to see your role in what went wrong.

This can be a very difficult personality change to put in place, but try noticing how often you put the blame on others. Sometimes, things really are out of your hands. And you don’t want to take responsibility for things that truly aren’t your fault. But many times, you’ll find that you are able to realize that your actions played a role and own up to it. This will show her that you’re a reasonable, self-confident, humble person.

Interrupting her

The fact is, women get talked over a lot. And, after a long day of being interrupted at work, in public, and possibly even by her own family or friends, your date may not have the patience to be interrupted by you.

The trouble with this behavior is that it can be difficult to catch yourself doing it! And you may be genuinely so excited to share your thoughts that you do it without bad intentions. But, it’s always good practice to learn to stay quiet and wait for her to finish before jumping in.

Talking about sex too early

There’s a misconception that women aren’t interested in sex or don’t think about it in the early days of dating. But, that doesn’t mean that you have free reign to bring up the subject while you’re still getting to know each other.

Talking about intimacy too early will give her the impression that you’re interested in her for purely physical reasons. So, instead of complimenting her on her physical appearance or making suggestions about where the evening will go, keep the conversation focused on other subjects.

Being unemotional

There’s a societal expectation that men shouldn’t be emotional or show their sensitive side to women. But, going too far in the direction of unemotionality will give her the impression that you’re uninterested and closed-off.

This doesn’t mean that you should spend the entire date complaining or talking about your past trauma. Instead, it means that you should tap into your emotional side to connect with her. If, for instance, she shares something about her grandmother, you can also open up by sharing a sweet memory about your own family. This will allow the two of you to feel more intimately connected which will make for a more enjoyable date!

Replace these top 10 turn-offs for women with green flags!

In this article, we’ve talked about some common mistakes when dating women. So, how can you ditch them in favor of green flags? Here are a few final tips:

  • Prepare for your date. This means self-grooming, putting on a nice outfit, and showing up on time!
  • Ask open-ended questions. The conversation should always be a two-way street, and you can make her feel invited to open up with genuine, open-ended questions.
  • Practice active listening. Eye contact, nodding, facial expressions, and follow-up questions make her feel heard and validated.
  • Don’t be afraid of vulnerability. At the end of the day, dating is vulnerable! Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, look foolish, and laugh at yourself.

With these simple changes, you can avoid the top 10 turn-offs for women and have a positive, fun date!

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